Bored & Empty

I feel so empty and alone. My heart has turned into stone. Laugh on the outside, cry on the inside. I always try to find place to run, place to hide from my emptiness and sadness. It always makes me feel bored. I'm bored with all this, fell like no one care when I need. Like no one to listen when I need people to talk. Like no want to be with when i need shoulder to cry. I always try my best in everything I do, for the one I love, for people I care. But me? Why like no one care? No one interested to listen whats in my heart and what's mind thinking?

Sometimes I keep my self busy cause I don't want to think much about all this. I want to be cheer up even I give my best smiles to others to make them happy, even inside I'm crying. I always talk to myself, no one care of me but I still have myself and God who always with me. Never let me breath with no Oxygen even a second or even when I do wrong. How the greatest love me...

I talk to myself when I don't have people to talk. I write to my Mr. Blog cause I fell better after write it down all here. Talking about what's my problem, whats makes up my mind.. What makes me sad. I clam myself with my own words. I cried on my own shoulder even I can't reached my own soulder.. Because thats the only things who always 24 hours with me.

Sometimes I lost within myself. I don't know what to do? Blank! Stress! Pressure! Confused! What should I do.. How to sort out all things mess up on mind? How to solve all in mind? I have thousands things rolling and keep on rolling on my mind. I need someone to help me! Always be with me... I feel all alone and lost within me..

Others might say, there's lot people more worse than you. Yes I admit it, and I never forget it. Because in ever breath I really thanks to God with what I have. I'm a human. Normal human.. I guess not wrong to wish for what I don't have in life. I need support from others. I need motivation from others. From someone who really close. I need love from someone.. I know, people might think I'm pempering myself.. I have to say it, Yes i do! Because I need that!!


In life, we can't get what every we wish.. We never get what ever hope.. But the chance still there... When I love someone, I do anything as I can.. If I care about someone, I try my best to take care of them as much as I can.. I wish one day people also do the same for me.. Love me as what I am... Love me with full heart.. Love me as sincere as they can and care for me as mush as they can. I belived God knows what inside me, I belived God listen to me and I belived one day I get what I wish Insyallah...

Dear God, give me stregth to gone throught this alone.. Give me more power for more distance.. Give me more bless for me to smiles and laugh inside and outside. I know you always with me and always listen to me even I didn't say it.

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